28-06-12

a good day spoilt by a bad mood.

– walked mk2 to school.

– advised dentist to take bh off their books and make an appointment for me due to a reoccurring old problem that’s got a lot worse in recent times.

– sorted out laundry.

– 22km on exercise bike + shower.

– read neil gaimans ‘miracle man : the golden age’.

– sorted out car insurance re bh.

– sorted out car related paperwork.

– received all the documents back (marriage, birth, death etc .. ).

– walked mk2 home from school.

– fed monsters.

– goal practise for mk2.

– avoided facecrook all day

i can’t put my finger on what’s going on but the last few days have been heavy going.

dark moods and a dour demeanour mean that for all the bonus points and good things that are happening i seem to be unable to get any enjoyment out of anything.
the world feels to be at a distance from me, and the worst part of this i don’t care.
i feel i am withdrawing, yet there is currently little desire to stop it.

part of this withdrawal process has been the realisation that in recent weeks my interaction with facecrook has increased quite dramatically.
prior to the last few weeks i only really used facecrook in order to check up on a few music related connections, as the whole purpose for me revolved around ireallylovemusic.
then following the death of bh, it quickly became quite clear that i was missing out on a source of localised social interaction, so i started connecting with friends who live within my countryside idyll.

this catapulted me into all manner of new and fun situations, with my social circle expanding way beyond my expectations.
which is all great and special.

however, i have come to realise how easy it is to loose hours a day idling away in front of facecrook.
now for those who do their thing via a smartphone while waiting for the queue at tesco to disappear, or, while en route to some far flung corner of the world, then i can now totally see the attraction, however, for me, it involves sitting in the kitchen and doing the stuff via a laptop, and before you know it, it’s school pickup time, and i have wasted 3 hours of my life looking at pictures of cats.

time i could be writing stuff down on the blog is instead used up by surfing around various lists trying to find that all elusive connection that i clearly need.
not only that, but by watching the status’s of all and sundry, i then began to feel that life and the world was passing me by.
why wasn’t i out at a festival, or watching some cool art show.
why was i doing the ironing instead of looking for a pair of nasty dayglo trainers.
and that’s when it hit me.
the site is quite literally a cyber vampire. sucking the life out of me.

whereas the art of blogging has become quite therapeutic for me, facecrook is the antithesis of that process.
blogging clears the mind, whereas facecrook clutters the mind and fills my head with unwanted noise.
now, don’t get me wrong, in regards to the benefits of my newly extended social circles, i will indeed still be scouring the various updates and such, just that from hereon i intend to pull back from the brink and limit the time i waste.
i mean today i read a book.
not that book i’ll have you know (seriously, anyone would think there is only one book out there at the moment .. ), and not a real book to be honest, but a wonderful graphic novel written by neil gaiman.
a world of miracles, beautiful art, and stories that stretch the boundaries.
i originally read it over 10 years ago and wasn’t overly impressed, yet today i thought it a wonderful way to spend a couple of hours perfectly soundtrack’d by the golden era of fax records.
the underground ambient record label run by pete namlook, another pleasure that i have not enjoyed in nearly 20 years (basically in 1994 i listened to fax releases and little else).

tomorrow i intend to dive into the archives and find more stuff to kickstart the eyes as hidden away are all manner of visual stimuli, in other words, my long forgotten comic book collection is due for a dust down.

i can’t wait : which is an emotion i’ve missed out on for a long time.

soundtrack : the ambient cookbook : various artists, pete namlook, atom heart.

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