good days. bad days.
today became one of the latter of the two possibilities.
i was cracking on with preparation for the forthcoming fun-n-frollicks at camp bestival, which in itself was increasing my stress levels as this was always the kind of thing that bh excelled at, when i remembered it was time to clear down the digital camera.
of course, in so doing i came across a set of wonderful happy family photos of bh and the lads on our last holiday prior to the surgery that effectively was the starting point of the chaos (once her stomach was removed in the surgery, bh never really ate food again properly, meaning that her body system slowly deteriorated each and every day), and then deeper into the digital archive was a picture of them on a glorious beach in the lake district with some stunningly beautiful sun kissed, snow capped mountains in the background.
that particular photo was taken on the very last day of our trip to the lakes and consists of bh standing awkwardly trying to mask her all too obvious discomfort, next to her mk1 and mk2 looking like they do.
though with hindsight, there is clearly an element of concern in the eyes of mk1.
we had just tried to all have a lunch together in a lovely pub in windermere that ended up proving to us all just how much pain bh was in despite the plethora of pain killers.
was intense to see the photo again, as a few hours after taking the picture mk1 and myself came to the painful decision too pull the plug on the holiday and get bh into hospital, 250 miles away.
and therein began the 2 week morphine induced hell that we descended into.
2 sets of photos. 2 family holidays.
each ending in events that changed all of our lives.
the result of this revisit being one massive headf*ck for yours truly.
still, at least once i get over it, i will be able to get back into gear for the weekends excess.
well, that’s the plan.
regarding the preparation, i can’t deny that i am a little more wired than usual.
this will be the first proper outing for us as a gang, and not having my own cuddlesome support network directing me on how to sort stuff out when things don’t go to plan, is beginning to test my ‘window of endurance’ to the limits.
still, it’s all systems go, there’s too much at stake to back out now.
for us all.
soundtrack : moody blues, the jim jones revue, the aliens, orange can.