and so today proved just how quickly and unexpectedly things can change.
today i went to work (on time) , caught up with various issues, and then was dragged into several meetings about various work related gubbins, that will probably have little affect on me personally, and yet, my heart sank.
took a while to figure out why, but then as i went for my lunch hour walk, i realised that such a day would have resulted in a nice evening meal and a proper chat with bh re the various changes.
as you’d expect after 20 years of marriage, bh knew most of my work friends by name, knew of the various company changes over the years, and so would be able to interact and dissect specifics, making me see things in a better (or possibly worse!) light.
instead, i knew i would come home, have to sort out food for the monsters, listen to the usual chaos re some sport i care little about, listen to stories re school (which are a daily highlight of course) and that would be it.
and that’s when it hit me : the loss of the emotional connection, the loss of our personal history, and more importantly, i miss her insightful alternative viewpoint on just about every aspect of my daily non parenting life.
in other news : mk1 took an important exam today, and being the son of a northerner, mk2 went down t’pit.
soundtrack : babe ruth